Most of us don't set out to be divorced so when you read articles saying that bad outcomes always results from fatherless homes... it sends a chill down my spine and I wondered is that always the case? As a single Mom of 2 boys I have a high stake in that answer....

I ran across the comment on a divorce site, which I was thought important because if comes from the child of divorce herself!

"Media coverage of this research can be very damanging for moms trying to raise children after a divorce. It appears to imply that no amount of good parenting will overcome the absence of a father from their children's lives; their children are doomed to grow up poor, dangerous, and unhappy.

I was raised by a divorced single mother. Poverty was our only problem - otherwise, we had happy childhoods raised by one person who loved us dearly, even though she had to work very hard to keep us afloat financially. As a child, I would certainly rather be raised by a good single-mom than in a two-parent family with even one lousy parent. Even if it meant we were poor. It's quality parenting, not quantity of parents, that matters.

I agree with those above that most of the single-parent/child outcome research is pretty flawed. My own pet-peeve has been the lack of research comparing single-parent families with remarried families. Looking around at my own circle growing up, it often seemed that being raised by a single mom was far better than having your mom remarry. Most stepfathers I knew as a child were emotionally abusive to their stepkids, and often, sexually or physically abusive as well. But many of these parents remarried because they wanted to provide a father for their children rather than have them face the bleak prospects of a child from a single-parent family. Frightening mothers into remarriages is hardly promoting child-friendly policies if children fair worse with step-parents than they do if raised by the mother alone."


What do you think? Do you think divorce always predicts a bad outcome for the children? I know this is aChristian group and some will definitely go against this topic but I wonder how would you answer this young lady as a minister of the divorced or a divorced woman yourself? Obviously she has lived the life of a child of divorce and felt the stigma very strongly and felt her mother was pressured to marry whilst the friends she new with remarried situations (with children still inteh home) were not positive.... do you think we as a society are wrong to impress upon divorced women that remarriage is the BEST way? Are we wrong to impress that ALL children of divorce are at a huge disadvantage and if they remain in a single parent family they are destined for failure in life?

Some hard questions. _________________
Elaine

_________________
Elaine

Just because a child comes from a divided family does not necessarily mean that he/she will be a failure later in life.

My own experience indicates that every person affected by the divorce is wounded. Period. But I do believe God can heal, and I pray that for my children. And not all children are destined to fail simply because their childhood was shattered at some point....

I think that divorced women are frequently better off staying single than to remarry, especially if the subsequent marriage is in haste, or is done just to give the children a father figure. I hate that so many people say, "Oh, that special man is just out there waiting for you...you'll find him eventually." You know, I'm just tired of kissing frogs, and I'm finally (at age 3 ready to make a life for me and my son, independent and courageous.