MY name is Debby and I am a EMPTY NESTER. I guess I knew these days would come, but then again, I didn't think it would HIT me as hard as it did.

When my first son, left for college I was happy. I still had 2 at home, and Michael was in college at Cal State Long Beach in Southern Cal. so he wasn't that far away. Plus he came home all the time, and in the summer. The year he graduated college, he made the sad decision to stay down there. He got a house with 2 other room mates and they had a blast. I was happy for him. I missed him. But it just made for, me having to PLAN little trips throughout the year, to go down there and visit. I enjoy Southern California and the LA area.

During this time, my middle son was "rebelling" BIG TIME. I had to kick him out of the house. He then left for about a year and I had no contact with him. I worried about him. I knew he was heading down a rough path. He did eventually call me. He had been in a drug rehab and wanted to come back home. IT was GREAT. It was similar to the parable of the prodigal son.

Just a few years past, and I remarried in Feb of 2002. In June of 2002, we were given 30 days to get out of our family home for 21 years, that I had rented. Seemed my landlord didn't approve of my remarriage. We moved to a RV because we did not have the finances to afford a place here in the expensive rental market in the San Francisco Bay Area.

The middle one, Daniel moved in with friends. My youngest, (going into his senior year) and my new husband shared a 34 foot RV. I felt like everything I had worked for, was gone.

In Jan of 2003, Daniel lost his job and had to move in with us. It was terrible. Made me mad, since I would of normally loved having him home...but I had no home. May of 2003, My oldest son Michael died. MAJOR EMPTY NEST! The worse.

By the end of the year, Daniel got a place of his own and moved out, and Patrick went to boot camp in Feb 2004. That's when it HIT me.

Not to mention the grief and all, SLAMMED me into menopause. Its been a rough 4 years for me. I still dislike the holidays.

Good news, Patrick will be getting out of the Navy this Jan 08. and my middle son, has been clean and sober since Dec 2000.

Debby

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53, m22Yrs, 3 sons, Divorced 10 yrs, ReMarried 2/02, 2 adult step-daughters. SAHM to 1 dog and 2 cats!


Joel 2:25 "God will repay you for the years the locust have eaten"

I am a partial ' empty nester ' Well when my ex was engaged and in a relationship with Clare. My youngest would often go and stay, or go on holiday with them. From time to time it would coinside with David being away. My oldest children don't live here anymore. It's quite strange having the place to myself- not sure how I would feel if it was all the time, yet to experience that. It's a matter of redefining our roles isn't it. I mean, we don't stop being a mum do we but, I guess, we are not depended on. I guess we also have to learn to be independent - thats scary !!
I have a few years to go yet- menopause coming in the middle of it. That must have been hard going Debby. I can choose when I go into that- had a total hysterectomy when I was 40 and I am on HRT.
There are just so many changes we have to go through as women.
Not long to wait until your son comes home- bet you are counting the days.
It must be hard having a son who rebels- I was always very grateful not to go through that. My daughter rebelled in some ways for about a year- but in very minor ways so it was bearable. How hard that must have been to chuck him out.
"empty nests ' can be revamped - I pray that God will use your home for many other things and your heart and experiences will benefit many others. In God's family there are always so many uses for ' mums '
Take care
Rita

My son Doug moved into his dad's house in August of 2002 when he began attending community college. It was a much closer commute from his dad's house, plus his race car is housed in his dad's garage, so he could work on his car whenever he wanted.

Melinda is a sophomore in college, so she's in and out. Over the summer she spends a lot of time at her dad's house because she helps her stepmom Jodie by babysitting her little sister, who's 3-1/2, so Jodie can get work done. Jodie works for/with my ex in the log home business, just like I used to do, and she also has a part-time job with her church in the children's Christian Education department.

I am getting ready to sell my house and downsize to a townhouse, condo, or apartment. Not sure yet where I'll end up! So not only will my next be empty, it will be different! It's hard in some ways to think of leaving this house. I've lived here for 27 years, and I've known for some time that downsizing makes sense. I've dragged my feet, feeling overwhelmed at the thought of moving elsewhere. However, the process is in motion. I have a realtor lined up and am taking care of some cosmetic problems to make it more marketable.

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Linda in PA
My blog: http://heusescrackedpots.blogspot.com/

Whats the situation now Linda- have you moved ?
I have to make the same decision in about 18months time, I want Daniel to finish at his school, so once he is 16years old I can start making plans.
I love where I live now but can't justify staying here as there are bigger families needing more space. Over her in the UK we have Housing Asso/Council houses- lower rent places for those who really can't afford to get housing any other way. The downside is that you are limited to choice regarding where you then choose to live. Over here we also have the ' chavs ' ( nickname for the many troubled youngsters who come from the estates who basically have nothing better to do than cause havok- they are not pleasant to have as neighbours. So moving comes with risks- I have lovely neighbours where I am now.
Rita

My house is on the market with a for sale sign out front. Not much interest shown yet; I'm hopeful (as is my realtor) that once March comes around the house will "fly" off the market!

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Linda in PA
My blog: http://heusescrackedpots.blogspot.com/

It's a beautiful house, Linda. I'm sure it will FLY off the market when everyone thaws out enough to go house shopping.

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Lisa D
age 40; Married 1991, Divorced 2000; moved from TX to OH/WV; Remarried 2003; 2 children, ages 12 & 13; 2 stepsons, ages 20 & 25; 2 weenie dogs, 3 hamsters, 1 betta fish

Really hope all goes well.

What are house prices like in the States. Over here they have gone so high - it's so difficult for younger people to get on the property ladder. My son has recently brought a two bedroom flat, he has to pay about 900 pounds a month ( about 1,800 dollers I think )

Average three to four bedroomed houses are up to the 450,000 pounds

All I can say is that I am glad I rent !
Rita

Here, it depends more on where than what.

House prices can be as low as $50,000 for something small but neat somewhere rural to $500,000 for a fixer-upper nearer to civilization. For the upper end, the sky is the limit and not necessarily in keeping with the quality or size of the home.

My two 15 yr old trailers may be shabby and annoying, but they are paid for!

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married 30 years; daughter #1 + grandson;
daughter #2 + granddaughter; 1 big dog; various cats

I'd rather be at the beach